Saturday, March 17, 2018

Dear Hillary, My Boyfriend Told Me To Fall In Line And Post This

While in India to attend the 2018 India Today Conclave, Granny Clinton’s lips were flapping a million miles-a-minute about losing to Donald Trump because backwards rubes were hellbent to Make America Great Again. She claimed white women didn’t vote for her because their husbands, bosses, sons, whoever, said they should toe the line.
Last Sunday she took a little trip down a flight of stairs twice because her sandals had been sabotaged by the Russians.  From the video, it was clear she ripped the seat out of her stretchy pants.  She apparently “sprained” her wrist during her Benny Hill pratfalls.
While staying at the Umaid Bhawan Palace in Jodphur she slipped in the bathtub and fractured her wrist.
The Daily Mail noted she “concealed her injured wrist under a navy shawl.”  They also provided a photograph of the offending bathtub.  No explanation was given for why the 70-year-old boozer felt the need to “conceal” her injury.  It’s just another instance of her compulsive propensity for hiding things from the public.
Why in the world won’t Chelsea and Bill get the crocked crone a Hoveround® scooter?  The good me feels sorry for the feeble-brained ninny.  The bad me just wants to Photoshop™ her crooked, feeble ass.  (Earl, my apologies for “stealing” your hilarious idea.)

Mean Tweets: Andrew McCabe Edition

Friday, March 16, 2018

From A Small Balcony In Rome

“Sloppy” Steve Bannon, who was unceremoniously swept out of the White House after his incendiary quotes about Donald Trump, Jr. appeared in Michael Wolfe’s book “Fire and Fury”, is currently traveling throughout Europe “lending a hand to the populist forces now on the rise.”
You’ll recall Bannon called Donald Jr.’s meeting at Trump Tower in June 2016 with Russian individuals “treasonous” and said Special Counsel Robert Mueller would “crack Don Jr. like an egg on national TV.”
A recent interview published by the British magazine, The Spectator, has quoted Bannon praising Italian dictator Benito Mussolini. "He was clearly loved by women. He was a guy’s guy. He has all that virility. He also had amazing fashion sense, right, that whole thing with the uniforms. I’m fascinated by Mussolini."
Holy hell.
Bannon’s defenders say he is a brilliant man.  I vehemently beg to differ.  When stupid things fall out of Bannon’s mouth like the bullshit in The Spectator interview, the left pounces on it.  They eat it up.
In August of 2016, The Atlantic’s Ruth Ben-Ghiat noted, “Fascism has been back in the news with Donald Trump’s candidacy for the American presidency…Trump is not a Fascist. He does not aim to establish a one-party state. Yet he has created a one-man-led political movement that does not map onto traditional U.S. party structures or behave in traditional ways. This is how Fascism began as well.”
Ghait concludes her diatribe writing, “There’s no need to see a trajectory to dictatorship to recognize that Trump is testing American decency and the strength of U.S. democracy. The history of Mussolini’s rise coincides with the fall of what had been Italy’s version of a Grand Old Party: the liberal factions that had ruled Italy from Unification onward. They never recovered from their acquiescence to Il Duce. Of the many lessons the GOP can take from its experience with Trump so far, this might be the most valuable.”
Later in Nicholas Farrell’s Spectator interview he asks, “Can the West live with Islam?”  Bannon answered, “Yes. Islam not only will survive, it can have a place in the West and there is nothing about banning Muslims. Now the radical jihadist part — the supremacist Islam part — is a different deal, but no, we can live with Islam, we’ve got to live with Islam.”
I am convinced “Sloppy” Steve is a dangerous man.  I note the steady stream of leaks emanating from the White House while he was in the West Wing have slowed to a trickle.  His brash comments and his strategy to dominate White House policy did severe damage to President Trump’s first year in office.
Mussolini used a small balcony overlooking the Piazza Venezia in Rome to deliver his megalomaniac, fascist ideology to starving, impoverished Italians.  The arrogant dictator who fancied himself the second coming of Julius Caesar would be shot by communist partisans somewhere along the Italian countryside and his corpse hung in the same plaza from which he preached his misguided imperial dreams.
Bannon, who I believe is suffering from delusions of grandeur, was ill-advised to crow about Mussolini.  Doing so has only made those who hate this President question his prior association with this bizarre nut job. 

Thursday, March 15, 2018


He wasn’t as dramatic as Granny and her bungled “reset” button schtick with the Russians or as ludicrous as John Kerry’s stunt of bringing James Taylor to Paris following the terrorist attack on the offices of Charlie Hebdo.
Rex Tillerson never really seemed at ease in his public role as Secretary of State. He did precious few interviews and even fewer press conferences. This made it difficult for the country to get a sense of who he was as America’s top diplomat.  He leaves Foggy Bottom without any banner diplomatic achievements.
Late-night hosts had a lot of fun with the news that Tillerson had been fired.  Seth Meyers, comedian and host of “Late Night” observed, “He had the energy of 14-year-old bloodhound on his third mint julep.”  It’s hard to argue with that visual.
In October of 2017, NBC News alleged Tillerson had been overheard calling President Trump a “fucking moron.”  In an effort to quell the firestorm that ensued, he held a press conference to “clean up” the hysteria by denying he’d trashed his boss.  Rather than setting the record straight, he instead complained. “This is what I don’t understand about Washington.  I’m not from this place, but the places I come from, we don’t deal with that kind of petty stuff.”
That same month the President tweeted:
Tillerson had been an early advocate of talks with North Korea.  Differences over how to deal with the nuclear challenge led to a fear he was much too willing to make concessions to Kim Jong Un.
In April 2017, Tillerson speaking during a news conference with Japanese Foreign Minister Fumio Kishida said, “The diplomatic and other efforts of the past 20 years to bring North Korea to a point of denuclearization have failed.  The United States provided $1.35 billion dollars in food aid and energy assistance to North Korea as an encouragement to take a different pathway.  That encouragement has been met with further development of nuclear capabilities, more missile launches.”
Analysts, the same eggheads who can’t park a bicycle straight, contend when it comes to a North Korea policy “there are no new options to try.”
The U.S., South Korea, Japan, China and Russia tried repeatedly to negotiate a solution with Pyongyang during Six-Party Talks, which began in 2003.
In November of 2017, after North Korea fired what appeared to be a new type of inter-continental ballistic missile, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley warned the UN Security Council, “We have never sought war with North Korea and still today we do not seek it.  If war does come, it will be because of continued acts of aggression like we witnessed yesterday. And if war comes, make no mistake, the North Korean regime will be utterly destroyed. The nations of the world have it within their power to further isolate, diminish and, God willing, reverse the dangerous course of the North Korean regime."
On the day President Trump addressed CPAC, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin announced the heaviest sanctions ever imposed on North Korea.
The Kim regime operates as an extortion racket, feeding off not just its own people, but a global black market in arms, drugs, sex trafficking and counterfeiting. It has been willing to starve its own people in the pursuit of nuclear weapons, which it sees as the only guarantor of its sovereignty. Our negotiators should understand the monstrosity they’re dealing with.
Kim’s offer to meet with President Trump, I believe, is a direct result of the President’s stern warning, “North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States…they will be met with fire and fury, and frankly, power the likes of which this world has never seen.”
Haley’s promise to “utterly destroy” the hermit nation and the toughened sanctions imposed by Treasury in February helped bring Kim to the brink of negotiations.
President Trump’s shift to Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State came not a moment too soon.  South Korean officials have been working for quite some time with Pompeo as the State Department under Tillerson became increasingly sidelined.
Pompeo’s forceful personality will undoubtedly make the United States more visible than it was under Tillerson, the most reclusive Secretary of State in modern memory.  He already has a good working relationship with Secretary of Defense James Mattis and Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Joe Dunford and will prove critical in diplomatic initiatives seeking an end to the nuclear standoff in North Korea and the gruesome war in Syria.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Let's Hear It For Cruella Haspel, The Terrorists' Terror

I have often thought that water-boarding should be an Olympic event.

The NY Slimes has a predictable pearl clutching piece on Ms. Haspel's appointment, which incidentally has come close to shattering the intelligence community's glass ceiling...a promotion that was canceled five years ago because of her involvement in enhanced interrogations.
WASHINGTON — As a clandestine officer at the Central Intelligence Agency in 2002, Gina Haspel oversaw the torture of two terrorism suspects and later took part in an order to destroy videotapes documenting their brutal interrogations at a secret prison in Thailand.
We have only the one secret prison? I'm disappointed. What do I pay taxes for?
On Thursday, Ms. Haspel was named the deputy director of the C.I.A.
The elevation of Ms. Haspel, a veteran widely respected among her colleagues, to the No. 2 job at the C.I.A. was a rare public signal of how, under the Trump administration, the agency is being led by officials who appear to take a far kinder view of one of its darker chapters than their immediate predecessors.
The actual dark chapter of that period was when our intelligence agencies were forbidden to share information under the policies and procedures espoused and championed by Jamie Gorelick, former Deputy Attorney General under the Clinton crime spree Administration.  Ms. Gorelick was a member of the 9/11 Commission whose participation was heavily criticized as she was:
"personally responsible for instituting a key obstacle to cooperation between law enforcement and intelligence operations before the terrorist attacks raises disturbing questions about the integrity of the commission itself. Ms. Gorelick should not be cross-examining witnesses; instead, she should be required to testify about her own behavior under oath. Specifically, commission members need to ask her about a 1995 directive she wrote that made it more difficult for the FBI to locate two of the September 11 hijackers who had already entered the country..."
God forbid someone like Gorelick would be placed in a position of responsibility at the CIA. I would much rather see someone who takes the safety and security of this nation seriously enough to discomfort a few terrorists.

Pity The Poor Sailors Out At Sea On A Night Like This

Granny Clinton is on a three-day visit to Madhya Pradesh, India to visit famous tourist destinations in the area. Apart from taking a scenic boat ride along River Narmada, she visited Mandu city in the Dhar district, where historic monuments built by Mughal emperors are located.  She also took in the sights at Jahaj Maha, an ancient fort, where she navigated stone steps like a drunken sailor.
While at the 2018 India Today Conclave in Mumbai, The Ice Cube in Heels, gave another rendition of her “deplorables” blunder during her Whining Tour.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

Men have three dreams:  to be as handsome as his mother thinks, be as rich as his kids think and have as many women after him as his wife thinks.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Here’s My 2018 NCAA Brackets

Click image to enlarge

The odds of picking a perfect bracket in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament are so minute that mathematicians can’t agree on the actual estimation of the odds.
Some believe the odds are 1 in 9.2 quintillion. Picking all 63 games, excluding the First Four, is next to impossible. Last year, the NCAA said more than 99% of all brackets were busted by the end of the First Round.
It’s easier to become an astronaut:  1-3 in 600
Odds of finding a four-leaf clover:  1 in 10,000
Why bother then?  Well, it’s fun to join your “crew” at the local watering hole to see who’s brackets get busted first and then buy a round for everybody.
The camaraderie of friends seated around a table laden with platters of wings and pitchers of beer makes watching roundball fun─for one shining moment, it’s all on the line.

UPDATE:  My brackets are already busted.  Texas Southern defeated North Carolina Central 64-46.  Dang!

You See It Don’t You?

As readers of this blog well know, we strive to show immense restraint when mocking the words and deeds of #TheResistance.
Little did we know we had license to mock them hard and often.  Imagine our shock when we learned from the fine folks at Babylon Bee, who have read the Bible cover to cover, that you don’t have to love Democrats.  The Christian news satire site insists, “according to some interpretations of the Sermon on the Mount,” we are allowed to call them “libtards” and scream “they’re going to hell in Facebook comment sections.”
Our betters on the left are obsessing over the planned meeting with North Korea and the pursuit of the Stormy Daniels story.
Last Friday Morning Joe hosts Joe Scarborough (AKA Muppet character Beaker) and Mika Brzezinski (AKA Muppet character Waldorf) would see through the charade of a President meeting with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un for what they believe it truly was: an attempt to bury the Stormy Daniels scandal.
Joe began the segment saying, “Suddenly you have the foreign policy community shocked and caught off guard by the most significant announcement a commander-in-chief could make in 2018. So, tariffs and North Korea, all to distract from a President that didn’t go through the proper channels or use the proper inter-agency processes once…a distraction to change the headlines from Stormy Daniels.”
Brzezinski bulldozed in saying, “I think, yeah, that’s exactly what it is.”
Panelists who had joined the hosts postulated different narratives in search of the most damning angle from which to attack the President. After several minutes, Scarborough declared, “But Donald Trump, again, he just makes a decision on tariffs because of Hope Hicks, and he makes a decision on North Korea because of Stormy Daniels. And people can deny that all they want, but if you’re doing that, you’re in the tank for Donald Trump, because it’s painfully obvious that that is what’s going on.”
John Hinderaker of Powerline has a doozy of a solution to end the oral diarrhea of the Trump haters:
The Democrats are trying to make something out of Donald Trump’s alleged dalliance, twelve years ago, with porn performer Stormy Daniels. Trump’s long-ago romps with Daniels–assuming the stories are true–don’t qualify.
Worst case, Trump paid Stormy Daniels. But he didn’t kill her. That distinguishes him from the “Liberal Lion of the Senate”. If you want a scandal, and a cover-up that succeeded to a remarkable degree, look no further than Chappaquiddick. The Democratic Party conspired to cover up Ted Kennedy’s crime–manslaughter, in a particularly vile form–to preserve his political viability, at the cost of an innocent young woman’s life.
To this day, most people have no idea what the Chappaquiddick scandal was all about. That is how successful the Democrats’ cover-up has been. Most Americans assume that Kennedy was guilty of drunk driving and negligently causing the death of Mary Jo Kopechne. But the truth is much worse.
The movie Chappaquiddick may finally blow the lid off the Democrats’ cover-up.
Ted Kennedy, after driving off a bridge into Poucha Pond, escaped from his car but made no attempt to save Miss Kopechne. Kopechne didn’t drown, but eventually suffocated for lack of oxygen as she waited for Kennedy to rescue her. Kopechne could have been saved if Kennedy had simply called the local rescue squad. Kennedy was such a self-centered coward that he left Kopechne to die, concerned only for his own political future. Instead of calling for help, he walked back to the house where his party was still in progress. When he arrived, he tried to convince his cousin, Joe Gargan, to say that he had been driving the car. He never called the police to report the accident, but rather spent the night trying to concoct an alibi. The Democrats fixed the legal process so that Kennedy would pay no meaningful penalty for the death he callously caused. Kennedy pretended to have been injured in the accident in order to excuse his cowardice, and wore a neck brace to Kopechne’s funeral to further that lie.
There have been more disgusting human beings, but Kennedy was very near the bottom of the scale. Yet he remained a hero to Democrats until the day he died, forty years after he killed Mary Jo Kopechne. That is what I call a scandal: not only Ted Kennedy’s manslaughter–frankly, a charitable characterization–but the Democratic Party’s decades-long cover-up.
Donald Trump should take no grief for whatever he did years ago with the still-alive, still-flourishing, and reportedly financially better-off Stormy Daniels. If I were Trump, every time a reporter tried to ask me about Daniels, I would respond by talking about Chappaquiddick. 


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